Read a couple books recently that reinforced a thread that has always followed me in life, being your authentic self and expressing yourself authentically.
The Midnight Library by Matt Haig is a story about a girl who doesn’t want to live anymore and she’s taken on a journey through all her potential parallel lives, based on if she made different decisions. It makes her realize that all of those people appearing on those different paths are part of her current life. Happiness is all about your perspective and life turns around if you give it time.
The Courage to be Disliked is a conversation between a philosopher and a youth about the tenets of Adlerian psychology, which encourages a life of community contribution over self-centeredness. Concern for others is not about worrying what others think of you – actually that’s quite self-centered. It’s more about thinking what can I give that’s based on my true self and abilities.
There’s also a theme of non-attachment in both books, which originates in Buddhist philosophy, and resonates with me quite a bit. When you can detach from what could have been as well as any feelings of inferiority or superiority, you can get closer to authentic self-expression.
I also re-read Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead, which has similar themes of letting go of the ego response and getting more curious about the present moment.
Different paths
The Midnight Library is so thought provoking. I’ve been thinking about my life and how things may have been different with different directions. What if I had kept riding and did home schooling to be more competitive in the Juniors? I’d likely be a riding professional now, living in the northeast.
What if my parents hadn’t divorced and my mom didn’t pass away during that time in my teens? I imagine I would have kept riding and being on that path. I think horses and competition at the time were a way for me to escape the tension at home.
If my mom and dad were still alive, would I have had the phase in my 20s where I discovered the therapeutic benefits of acting? I don’t think so. At the time I had gotten into law school at American university in DC and for sure they wouldn’t have supported a drastic career change, especially one so fraught with rejection.
There are endless paths we choose to take, and part of settling into my authentic self and being able to bring my full self to everyone in my life, is to accept that all of these people are within me now. I’m bringing all of that experience to my current life. Letting go of the attachment to negative experiences, as well as any nostalgia for the good times.
Bottom line, let go and be yourself!